I thought we were past this.
I thought I could trust you.
But how do I trust those who lie?
And in my book a lie is no different than the things you intentionally hide.
I got you back.
Yes, not as we once were,
But as we first started.
And that was why I will always love you.
Before you my life was black and white.
After you no colors existed,
I only say outlines.
But eventually I found myself,
Who I was and who I wanted to be without you.
And just as always before,
We came back to each other.
It was a new beginning.
Two people with a past we already knew,
But a present that was different.
I found the only person I could ever open up to when I was young.
You came into my life when I was truly lost and alone.
I doubt you know this but you saved me.
You were the best person for me at the time.
I got through my broken world with you there everyday.
You gave me reasons to smile,
And at times things were hard.
But we both needed it,
I needed to slowly let in the hurt and heal.
You needed to experience it.
As hard as it was when you left it forced me to rely on myself.
I finally saw who I actually was.
So much time went by,
And I would be the one lying if I said I didn't think of you.
Yes it hurt to lose my first love,
But it hurt more to lose the friend you were to me.
You got me through the roughest part my life will ever see.
And just when I thought I was getting that person back,
The one I told everything to,
The one I completely got to be myself with,
I found I obviously wasn't that person for you too anymore.
Your relationships don't bother me,
Actually they make me happy.
It bothers me you are lying,
Not only to me but to her,
As well as yourself.
It hurts me to see how little you have grown.
The lies you once told me are the ones she hears now,
It breaks my heart to see how little your relationships mean to you.
One day she'll find out,
Not from me but on her own as I did.
And then her world will come crashing down.
How does it feel to always be the one holding the gun to the hearts of those you claim to love?
