Do I like you or do I like the attention you give me?

This is the ultimate question! I am an ass hole when it comes to boys! I like a chalage, the chase, the thrill of liking someone new, or making someone like me. But do I really Iike that person or do I like the attention I get from them, or am trying to get from them? 

I never answer this answer until I get that person then the answer is usually no, I don't like them. And by this point it's too late to back out without hurting the boys feelings. I know there are some crazy clingy girls out there but I think there are just as many boys that way too! Boys try to play it all cool like they don't care and they just want to "fuck bitches" but in my experience once you get into bed with a boy they get clingy! 

Or maybe they just always want the opposite of what you want. When you want a relationship they don't, when you just want to have sex they want more. I've done two long term relationships in my life and well... both of them crashed into a pit of predictable but forever fighting the odds doom. After my second one I needed a break and thought this was a good opportunity to get out in the world have fun and sleep with whoever I want.

Well after a couple meaningless to me hookups and some awkward convos of no I don't want to date you's and never talking to them again I have really come to the conclusion of: Wow I am an ass. 

My always the same routine is oooo I like him! Okay bam now he likes me! Some cute dates! Wow I really like him! Sex! Yea okay I'm over this I don't really Iike you sorry bye! Now don't get me wrong I don't sleep with loads and loads of people most of the time I completely skip the sex stage and after a few times out and I know that person likes me I'm out. And no the sex isn't always horrible (few times yes but that is a whole separate story to roast someone in later) so why do I always do this?

I am a nit picker! I somehow find one thing I don't like about a person and soon that becomes all I see until I can't stand them anymore. Other times I just get bored. Like I said I love the chalage and once that's over and I win, where's the fun anymore? 

Now I am a strong believer in karma and it finds a way of kicking me in the ass by making me actually like people (or truly think I do just cuz I can't win) who just want to sleep with me but don't want to date me.

So now I've hit a point where my love life is about as dry as it gets and it's been this way for quite awhile now. As you've read last few dates I've been on has kinda scared me away from the dating life but I've been thinking I want to get back out there. So now the question is do I like you or do I just want to like to like you?