Do I like you or do I like the attention you give me?

This is the ultimate question! I am an ass hole when it comes to boys! I like a chalage, the chase, the thrill of liking someone new, or making someone like me. But do I really Iike that person or do I like the attention I get from them, or am trying to get from them? 

I never answer this answer until I get that person then the answer is usually no, I don't like them. And by this point it's too late to back out without hurting the boys feelings. I know there are some crazy clingy girls out there but I think there are just as many boys that way too! Boys try to play it all cool like they don't care and they just want to "fuck bitches" but in my experience once you get into bed with a boy they get clingy! 

Or maybe they just always want the opposite of what you want. When you want a relationship they don't, when you just want to have sex they want more. I've done two long term relationships in my life and well... both of them crashed into a pit of predictable but forever fighting the odds doom. After my second one I needed a break and thought this was a good opportunity to get out in the world have fun and sleep with whoever I want.

Well after a couple meaningless to me hookups and some awkward convos of no I don't want to date you's and never talking to them again I have really come to the conclusion of: Wow I am an ass. 

My always the same routine is oooo I like him! Okay bam now he likes me! Some cute dates! Wow I really like him! Sex! Yea okay I'm over this I don't really Iike you sorry bye! Now don't get me wrong I don't sleep with loads and loads of people most of the time I completely skip the sex stage and after a few times out and I know that person likes me I'm out. And no the sex isn't always horrible (few times yes but that is a whole separate story to roast someone in later) so why do I always do this?

I am a nit picker! I somehow find one thing I don't like about a person and soon that becomes all I see until I can't stand them anymore. Other times I just get bored. Like I said I love the chalage and once that's over and I win, where's the fun anymore? 

Now I am a strong believer in karma and it finds a way of kicking me in the ass by making me actually like people (or truly think I do just cuz I can't win) who just want to sleep with me but don't want to date me.

So now I've hit a point where my love life is about as dry as it gets and it's been this way for quite awhile now. As you've read last few dates I've been on has kinda scared me away from the dating life but I've been thinking I want to get back out there. So now the question is do I like you or do I just want to like to like you?

Quick I’m Running Out Of Time, Play Match Maker!

Why is everyone constantly trying to hook me up with someone or telling me how I need a boyfriend?! My coworker (and also my uncles best friend) is always trying to play match maker… but with absolutely anyone. If I talk about my two closest guy friends he’ll interrupt mid story/sentence “Why don't you date him?” And apparently “Um… He’s my best friend?” isn't an acceptable answer. 

My other coworkers son also works for the same company and let me just politely say this kid is weird! Like talks with a lisp ON PURPOSE and constantly pulls stories out of his ass to sound cool or one up everyone, weird. But that doesn't stop my coworker from EVERYDAY making a comments on why don’t you date (Insert his name here but for his sake lets just call him lisp boy)? 

Today for instance we walk into the music room after school to work on the lights and the teacher was still in there setting up for tomorrow. He was a pretty young looking guy and as soon as he steps out what does my coworker say? “I found you a boyfriend!” 

UM NO! and its not just him, my dad too! Your life would be easier if you had a boyfriend. If you had a boyfriend you wouldn't have to work on your car. If you had a boyfriend your rent would be cheaper, your dog would be better, yada yada yada. And any time I talk about anything apartment related (My lease is almost up so right now I am currently apartment shopping) EVERYONE and their mother tell me I need to find a boyfriend to move in with.

What is this the 1950’s? I don’t NEED a fudging boyfriend and I am doing just fine for myself. I don’t want someone to support me and take care of me thats what parents are for the first 18 years of your life. People these days are so dependent on others they forget to grow up and take care of themselves. 

Geez! I am young and have plenty of time to be picky about who I want to share my life with but according to everyone else I must be running out of time, or my ovaries are drying up. But god forbid I talk about children Because I’m wayyyy to young for that.